Running along the beach, the scorching sun castigates the unsuspecting people below. Those who have not brought sun umbrellas sprint to find shade underneath the few exotic palm trees available. Individuals surf towards the illusion of the calm, turquoise waves of the deep blue sea, only to be hit by the harsh reality of its sheer might and ferocity. Boards and bodies are sent flying towards the coast in a matter of seconds.
The sun is shining. A cluster of children gaze in awe at the sapphire sea, desiring the feeling to float in it. One child cannot resist the urge any longer and makes a fast break for the sea. The ocean tickled his feet as he got closer and closer to achieving his goal; however his attempt falls in vain as his attentive carer swiftly snatches him and returns him to his exasperated friends. He is angered at the fact that he did not get to play.
The big beach volleyball tournament is officially underway. A voice screams through the megaphone. The preliminary round has started. As the heat increases, bodies are soaked to the skin in sand and sweat. The discordance of clapping and cheering make a perfect scenario for a private conversation. “I hate you! This is all your fault we are late, you were too busy sorting out your makeup now I can’t en…” but we hear no more as the huge uproar of cheers block out the rest of the conversation. The boy stomps off into the crowd, leaving his frustrated mother worried about his whereabouts.
The sky is clear. A cluster of teenage boys head towards the quiet side of the beach, there intentions however are to gaze at the young teenage girls with ‘perfect’ figures harmlessly attempting to gain a natural suntan in the hope of not getting sunburnt. The girls have noticed the boys and are glad that they are receiving attention from the opposite sex. One of the boys pluck up the courage to mingle with the girls however their conversation is cut short by a couple asking them for directions. As they walk away to their destination the couple turns back to thank them for the directions, but are met with fierce stares of jealousy. Puzzled by this they shrugs it off and walks away hand in hand with his girl.
“The big beach volleyball tournament has come to a close. “Huge cheers are given to the host. The victors are the newlywed couple, the Johnson’s. A tremendous round of applause is given to the winners, who receive a luxury getaway to Hawaii. The Johnson’s are ecstatic with the prize and thank everyone for their support. They then leave and enjoy the rest of their day at the beach.
A careless mother has left her seven year old son to wonder off near the shore. At first the dazzling waves were calm but in a matter of seconds, the once calm waves turned into a thunderous tsunami dragging the boy away from the shore and closer into the ocean. He tries to make his way back to shore racing the rising tide but is swiftly overpowered by the sheer force of the current and is pulled further towards sea. The boy shrieks cries of help but is not heard by anyone. He is started to be dragged below as he now wrestles with the sea fighting and gasping for the as much air as he can before he is pulled under again. His fate seems inevitable until by utter luck, a life boat sails past him spotting the boy. The lifeboat throws a life ring to the boy in which he attempts to grab but fails as it is too far out. The lifeguard reel it in and throw it further out in which he clutches it almost instantly and is pulled on board. The battle for the boys safety is not over yet as he now suffers from hypothermia. Foil is wrapped around the boy and he is given hot cocoa to drink in order to raise his core temperature back to normal. As the boy is brought to shore, his mum runs towards him, a stream of tears flow down her worried face. Tears filled with anger as well as joy cloud her vision as she makes her way to her son with haste. A quick walk soon turns into a run as she pushes through the masses.
Screaming “move out my way, let me see my son.” As she reaches her son the crowd’s part and she falls to her knees, “how many times have I told you to stay away from the sea? Don’t you ever do that again do you hear me. You had me worried sick.” At this point the tears are overflowing, her emotions of joy overwhelm her and she succumbs in her guilt of letting him out of her sight. The crowd then walk off to leave them alone. Sobbing, the boy apologises for shouting at his mum earlier about her makeup and she humbly accepts the apology. The two then walk off into the distance.
By noon, the tide begins to close in at a rapid rate on the beach dwellers and the coast guards decide that it is no longer safe to be on the beach. The coast guards begin to vacate the remaining people. Lumps of sand are left where mighty sand castles once stood, forgotten spades and buckets are washed off into the distant sea never to be seen again, the day at the beach has officially ended.
January 17, 2015 at 6:13 pm
Hi Jed,
This is a well structured and descriptive piece of writing. You will need to reread this piece and focus on the following two areas –
1. Use of capital letters where appropriate.
2. Using a mixture of sentence structures to create a flow that mimic the setting. There are a lot of very stunted and short sentences. Could punctuation help develop a sense of movement and flow?